GoodWill...

Well, I was feeling pretty good about my prose after the last one. It’s been so long since I’ve written anything that wasn’t a professional article or tweet/skeet. I was rusty! BUT. I felt like a was able to tell a story, tell you what I wanted you to know about myself, set the stage for the next parts of the story, and end with a tantalizing teaser. Then, hoisted by my own petard. Deleted. Lost forever. I’m honestly not sure I can tell it again as well as I did the first time. (For all you know, it was Pulitzer Prize winning prose. So let’s just assume) So here we are - I want you to know certain things before I tell the next part, but I don’t want to poorly rewrite the amazing text that I accidentally threw into the fire. What you need to know: Love massage, have been going infrequently since I was a teenager. NEVER had it been sexual. Found myself out of town in an “Asian massage parlor” and had the BEST massage of my life (still non-sexual) Sought out another parlor closer...

I did NOT mean to delete that post. Moron.

I’ve wrestled with this one.  Those of you who’ve known me for awhile will understand why this is a struggle. I created this persona, “Will” to give me an authentic space to tell my darkest desires and secrets. A place in the world to explore the fantasies I couldnt in my reality. An escape from a world where I live up to everyone’s expectations - Where I exist as the golden boy, the once perfect child, the man with flawless intregrity. The truth has always been, of course, that I am none of those things. I was a good kid. I became a good man, and I’m a successful professional. But my flaws are plentiful and robust, even if I’m the only one who obsesses about them.  The point of all this, of course, is to admit something. To tell a story that has been sitting on my brain, in an all-consuming way at times.  But I want you to know how I’ve struggled with it. How I’ve rationalized it in my head. How I have had moments of pure relief an...